My flight didn’t get in until midnight last night, and I had to be up at 6am for a conference call.

I was sticky and tired and my eyes burned and my nose was plugged from living in hotels for the past week.

The luggage took FOREVER to get (you know you’re flying into a small airport when the pilot is actually unloading luggage out of the plane) and of course there was only one exit in the airport parking lot, that wasn’t attended, leaving a bunch of weary travelers trying to figure out which direction to stick their credit card and parking stub in to pay and leave.

I timed it. It took 9:45 seconds for the cars (5) ahead of us to move out of the damn way.

Needless to say I was testy. I just wanted to go home to get what sleep I could before diving back in to work for the week.

I got a phone call earlier that day from Jack to wish me Happy Mother’s Day. I had woken up in a kinda foul mood but as soon as I saw it was him and heard his voice my day took a complete 180 degree turn.

That kid has the ability with just one sentence to put life in perspective so quickly and seamlessly it boggles my mind.

So 12:38am this morning (but who’s counting) we pulled up to the house. I opened the front door and laying on the steps was a package from my son compliments of his dad and stepmom. He had made his own card and written “I hope you have a great Mother’s Day. I love you. Jack”

Realizing the kid reads and writes braille he doesn’t have the best penmanship but it was the absolute most incredible card. I’m sitting here looking at it and grinning like an idiot.

I was dying to open his gift, but knew I would wait.

I called him for our morning call this morning and he let me open it. In it, was a pretty frame with a picture of him in it. And he quickly informed me “You can put it on the fireplace mantle.”

Of course I can. Of course I did. Of course if I turn my head just so I can look around into the living room and see it there right now.

I’ll talk about the ‘pleasure trip’ I took this weekend because I met a really cool mom and her and I spent a lot of time talking about raising our kids, trying to do right, fighting the societal expectations of ‘normal’ and how we dealt with frustrations when they come up.

Her kids aren’t special needs, but listening to her talk it suddenly became so clear to me….as mothers, as parents, sighted kids or not, the themes, issues, concerns, fears, frustrations and joys that we all have….are so damn similar.

It’s crazy, but it’s true. And in the course of that conversation I suddenly didn’t feel so isolated and alone because I knew there were a lot more moms out there who could relate to my struggles than I had ever given them credit for.

Funny, how this recent journey, where I’m really trying to sit down and write things out that have been swirling in my brain for so long, is teaching me that as much as I hate being judged, being stereotyped and hate people who put roles on how I should act and be, I’m realizing that kinda maybe sorta in a way….I’m guilty of doing the same thing to them.

First, I’ve been out of town since Tuesday and won’t be back in town til Sunday night (which is why no posts). It’s easier to travel when Jack is away during the week anyway. The weekends, though, are harder.

The first part of the trip was business. The second part from Friday through Sunday is for fun. Honestly, it was really hard for me to decide to take this part of the trip and even typing this now still feel guilty.

When you don’t get to see your son during the week due to school, it’s hard to justify to yourself, especially for personal reasons, flying out of state for a couple of days just ‘for fun’.

Secondly, I wrote a post earlier this week in which I expressed a lot of frustration with some organizations and their relationships or lack of with each other.

I got involved in an email exchange on a list serv, which was, frankly, very civil and respectful (my initial email notwithstanding) and through which I learned a lot.

I had an exchange with someone who has a lot of experience in one of the organizations and while I’m still not sure that I agree with everything that they said, her answers gave me food for thought when she said “if you don’t like something, get involved and make your voice heard.”

Someone else wrote that my beliefs or desires that ‘everyone get along’ while in theory a beautiful thing, in the reality of the day to day, just won’t happen.

I don’t know, really. I took my post down from earlier this week while I think things through a bit more. I don’t regret starting the conversation  as I learned a lot but because I haven’t been able to sit down and write a response to that post, don’t want to leave it out there and have it perceived that I’m still angry and pissed.

I’m not angry. I’m still a bit frustrated, but more so, a bit wiser and a bit older. My battles shouldn’t be with others who support any effort to give my son independence.

Gave the site a bit of a facelift thanks to Jo-Lynne at DCR Design and Heather over at Desperately Seeking Wordpress.

Love the graphic and the colors (and yes, blue is mine and jack’s favorite color). As well, the body of the site is still clean and functional.

I have some housekeeping to do on the side navs and will get to that soon.

Thanks to Jo-Lynne and Heather!

When Jack was in second grade he was mainstreamed in a regular classroom with an aide. On top of that he had pull out on a daily basis with his VI teacher for braille instruction.

In discussions with his aide and VI teacher we soon realized that the pull-out, while important, was having an impact on Jack and the class. Jack missed being a part of his classroom for these private one on one sessions with his VI and his class wondered where it was that Jack went, wondering about the tools that Jack used.

Both reactions were completely normal. These kids were 7. 7 and curious. Who wouldn’t be? And the beauty of their innocent questions in just really, truly being curious of what it was that Jack did, the tools that Jack used, how Jack did those amazing things he did reading a piece of paper with a bunch of dots on it.

While they were using a pencil and paper to answer their homework, Jack had a big metal Perkins Brailler. While they used their eyes to read what was on the board, Jack used his fingers to read the dots on the page.

I had a dinner with a good friend tonight. A great friend, actually. We’ve been through a lot together, and although it pains me to say this (if only to admit to my age) we’ve known each other….gasp….over 20 years. Holy Sh*t, has it really been that long?

We went to the same high school. We went to the same church. We had similar experiences in choosing to walk away from organized religion and go down different paths, even though both of our families are still actively involved.

We talked a bit about an earlier post where I talked about my belief, that still surfaces from time to time, that the reason Jack was hurt was punishment from God for past sins of my own.

We talked about how weird it was, that even after having distance from the church for nearly a decade, one of my first thoughts had been that. And even after over 20 years away from it that sometimes, today, in 2008, that thought will flit across my mind when I least expect it.